Give me one two three four
What is all that space for?
Five six seven eight
How many elephants did it take?
One two three four five six seven EIGHT!
Eight elephants in the room
GOOOO TEAM!!!!
So is it Rob or Rod?
Oh wait. It’s Rob. That’s right. We were talking about your rod right when you walked in the door. Had the same issue with Richard not an hour ago.
…Dear god.
Is there any feasible way to vaporize myself right now?
It was not the first backup Adam expected from his boyfriend, but it turned out just fine in the end.
We do like those happy endings don’t we?
Timmy loved himself yes, but he loved his twin brother more. The thing is Timmy doesn’t have a twin. Here’s the awkward part. Timmy doesn’t know he doesn’t know he doesn’t have a twin.
Was I right!? Ugh. The whole thing is just sooooo awkward.
Ok. Now how do I end this post? Do I just stop writing?
Two minutes into crashing the penguin’s grand ball, Bobby felt terribly underdressed and out of place. Apparently, penguins sourced their weather reports elsewhere and students should not be allowed to expunge themselves from Geography 101 at Yale. He was donning completely the wrong season, and that double thumbs backfired terribly on the white carpet. Who knew cultural sensitivity extended to other animals?
Deep in the debacle, Bobby didn’t know what to do. One thing tho was for sure. He sure as hell underestimated Jane Goodall.
Please tell me our dear Jason over here is going to wear dark pants. You know straight men do that sort of thing. It’s very unsettling. I should also mention I saw him earlier wearing a brown belt and black shoes.
Ghastly. Just ghastly.
Frankly I don’t care how straight, pretty, or beautiful you are. It’s just not ok. It’s impossible to match tones.
BTW. Who the hell is Frank anyway? Actually… You know what? What I really want to know here is how this guy getting so much airtime. He may not even exist.
F*ck Frank frankly.
Oh wow. I’m in a sour mood today aren’t I?
Ok then.
This may sound strange to some of you, but I think think I might just be really horned up. It’s like a hangry. Horngry I believe is a term I just made up.
Ok. Switching over to Grindr kids before I start throwing perfectly fine champagne flutes in the fireplace.
Ta ta!
How do we tell him the jean jacket goes on last?
Gosh.
He sure is pretty tho.
You know, I’m just gonna follow everyone else’s lead and let this one slide…. Hopefully right into my bed.
Doh!
That’s OK boys. There are only so many Speedo prints on the planet. It was bound to happen.
Well then… In the spirit of this blog you’re both 9.5 out of 8 without further explanation.
It’s not right… butt it’s OK.
Brad had it. The new model intern, Jose was officially not fine and couldn’t see by any light at any time of day. Something needed to be done.
Chris suggested Jose.
Well we’re happy Bobby feels comfy. We on the other hand have some work to do. The graphics guy is fidgeting and we know for a fact he’s hetero.
Excuse us for just one moment.
“Get over it Don! All anyone is asking for is tolerance. You got that? Tolerance Don. Tolerance. My boyfriend and I dealt with that wallpaper on Sunday when you had us over for a BBQ. Did you realize that Bob? Did you know my partner got sick three times from that god awful pattern? Probably not because why Don? That’s right. We freaking dealt with it. Ok?
Hmmmmm… We’re going to need have Don to watch a few workplace videos aren’t we?
As for Bobby… well, we’d normally say ‘you go gurl!!!’ but she’s obviously already gone. That’s the correct pronoun in case you’re wondering.
You know… Did Bobby happen to leave directions by any chance? Probably not huh? Maybe two vodka sodas would do that for me. One won’t cut it. I can tell you that right now. Few hold that much confidence. It’s that whole self worth…
My sincere apologies. Can you excuse us for just another second here?
“Don, you don’t drink do you? Yeah… you’re dry as a white wall aren’t you? Uh huh. Ok. My bad then. I am sorry.”
OMG. When did I become Jennifer Anniston in Terrible Bosses?
Never mind. Don’t answer that.
Your package arrived.
Well….